Over the past several weeks I have had this struggle with
adjusting my schedule to fit all the areas that need time in my life. As a
bi-vocational pastor I struggle constantly with my time. I usually work 45 to
50 hours a week not including my drive time. But my main struggles are taking
the proper time to love my wife, love my neighbor, bringing up my children in
the nurture of the Lord, praying, studying God’s Word for personal growth and
for sermon preparation, spending enough time with the flock, counseling,
spending enough time in discipleship, spending enough time with non-christians,
and just spending enough time with my family (my first flock). Over the
past few weeks this struggle has totally drained me physically, spiritually and
emotionally. I have had struggles to work through with my first flock (family) that have been hard to walk through,
things I have never experienced before. In these struggles I have had to
totally rely on the Lord to lead me in the right direction. Doing that has been
draining! I praise God in these times that He never leaves us or forsakes us. I
thank Him that even in times when I didn’t want to rely on Him, He was still
there leading me towards Himself. I also praise God for faithful friends that
continue to encourage me. Mary is always there even when we don’t agree in the
decisions I might be making. She is a great helper and best friend. I also
praise God for Gregg. He is always there to just listen and encourage me to
keep fighting the good fight. He will always ask the hard questions.
Those are the kind of people we need in our lives.
D.A. Carson, in this month’s themelios magazine has a good
article on the subject of biblical balance. The first point hit home for me;
The Bible exhorts us to discharge
many responsibilities, all of them time-consuming: to work, love our neighbor,
love our spouse, bring up our children in the nurture and admonition of the
Lord, pray, meditate on God's Word, meet together with other believers for
mutual edification and corporate praise, bear witness to the gospel with
unbelievers, and much more. If we are elders/pastors/overseers, the work of
teaching demands careful study, while the teaching itself extends indefinitely
beyond Sunday morning sermons to include one-on-one Bible study, small group
study, training others, and counsel of many kinds for the people in our flock,
including the members of our own family. All of these are good things; all of
them require time. The same Scriptures insist on proper cycles of rest: God
gives his beloved sleep. Add to this pile the peculiar rush of duties that
befall us in peculiar circumstances: a family member falls critically ill; two
children are graduating from university about the same time that a third is
getting married; the family business is on a knife-edge between a great leap
forward and going belly-up-and all of these circumstances are under God's
providential arrangement.
The needed balance in the face of
such demands turns on right priorities in using the time God has given us,
along with refusing to feel like dismal failures because we cannot squeeze
thirty hours of living into twenty-four. We have all the time that God has
wisely allotted; there is no more. We can work away at making our use of time
more efficient; above all, we can pursue godly priorities. And we can trust the
wisdom of our good and wise heavenly Father.
At times I do begin to feel
like a dismal failure because I cannot squeeze 30 hours into 24. And in those
times I allow that to eat at me and even effect my time of rest. There are
times when I get those things above out of balance. But praise God that I can
trust Him to lead me back into balance. I will continue to stumble through
areas of my life but my Lord does not stumble! He is faithful!
