Re-Think Marriage (Wives)

Last time we looked at the biblical role of a husband. We looked at 5 points of what a biblical husband looks like.

1. Husband is head of the wife as Christ is head of the Church.
2. Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church.
3. Husbands should love our wives as our own bodies.
4. Christ is our example as He takes care of the Church.
5. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
6. Paul sums it up with “Love your wife as yourself”.

Today I want to look at the biblical role of a wife. We are going to move around a little bit to get a full view of a wife.

We see in Ephesians 5:22-24, that wives are suppose to submit to their husbands. Were going to look at the definition of submission and what it looks like lived out. We are also going to look at other roles of a wife.

Lets get started by looking at the word submit.

Ephesians 5:21-24.

[21]submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.[22 ] Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. [23 ] For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. [24 ] Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

First we see that there is a mutual submission that Christians owe to one another. We should submit to one another, not put ourselves above one another. None of us are better than the other. We just all have different roles as Christians. We are one body in Christ. Pastors are not higher up or better than any other Christian.

The greek word here for submit is “hupotasso” which refers to a functional lining up and in no way implies a difference in essence. This is just a lining up of the roles of a family. This does not make a woman less than a man or under a man.

Jesus is our perfect example of submission. Jesus submitted His life to the Father and the Father’s will.

Look at John 12:49,

For I have not spoken on my own authority, but the Father who sent me has himself given me a commandment—what to say and what to speak.

 Here we see 4 things;

1. Jesus and the Father have different roles.
2. His Father has authority over Him
3. The Father had the right to command Him
4. His role was to submit to the Father

We see here that Jesus understood the concept of submission

Let’s look at another verse, John 8:28-29;

[28] So Jesus said to them, “When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am he, and that I do nothing on my own authority, but speak just as the Father taught me. [29] And he who sent me is with me. He has not left me alone, for I always do the things that are pleasing to him.”

1. Jesus respected His Father’s authority
2. He communicated with the Father
3. Jesus found joy in pleasing the Father

Does that sound like your relationship with your husband?

Do you respect your husband?

Do you communicate, not nag, with your husband?

Do you find joy in pleasing your husband?

Back to Ephesians 5:22,

[22] Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

Notice that Paul does not use the word “obey” in reference to the wife. "To obey," is used for children and slaves but not for wives (Eph. 6:1, 5). A wife is not a slave, awaiting commands such as: "do this! Get that! Go over there! Fix me that! Is my so-and-so done?" She is not a slave. The relationship between a husband and wife is much more intimate, more personal, more inward, and more vital than that.

Also notice that Paul tells the wives to submit to their own husbands. There is a possessiveness there that assumes a wife would absolutely and willingly respond in submission to her own husband---one whom SHE possesses. It is not a reference to inferiority; it's simply a God-ordained distinction in function so that society can be preserved.

This phrase “own husband” also shows that women do not submit to men! There is no place in the bible that says all women have to submit to all men. We are both created in God’s image and after His likeness. For the sake of unity and workability, the woman is to be subject to the leadership of the husband---not as a slave but as one who is provided for, cared for, and secured by her husband. It does not have nearly as much to do with what she does for him as what he is responsible to do for her.

Wives do you submit to your husband? Do you find joy in serving Christ through serving your husband?