We have been looking at marriage in the last few blogs. Let’s continue to dive into this subject. If you have not read the previous blog posts please do so before continuing here. A lot of this information came for John Piper’s book, The Momentary Marriage. I encourage both husbands and wives to get that book and read it.
Let us look at 1 Peter 3:1-7,
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, [2 ] when they see your respectful and pure conduct. [3 ] Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— [4 ] but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. [5 ] For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, [6 ] as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. [7] Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Here in verse one is a verse that I can say was lived out and the Lord used that life to change mine! The Lord used Mary and her lifestyle change to bring me to Himself. I knew something had changed deep within Mary and I could not figure out what that was. So I started watching her and studying her and I caught myself wanting what she had. That is when the Lord grabbed me and told me I was His!
Wives, if your husband is not saved or is not acting like he is saved, don’t hound him about it! Don’t nag him about his life and lifestyle. Instead live out the Christian life in front of him. Show him Christ in your life.
Peter says in verse 2 to be respectful and pure in conduct and that lifestyle might win him over to Christ.
1. We see that word again, RESPECT! Do you respect your husband?
2. Are you pure in conduct?
Verse 3-4, Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— [4 ] but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.
We know this does not mean that all jewelry and all hair styling are excluded. Then all clothing would be excluded as well, because it says, “Do not let your adorning be external . . . the clothing you wear.” What he means is: Don’t focus your main attention and effort
on how you look on the outside; focus it on the beauty that is inside. Exert more effort and be more concerned with inner beauty than outer beauty. And he is specific in verse 4. When a woman puts her hope in God and not her husband and not in her looks, and when she overcomes fear by the promises of God, this will have an effect on her heart: It will give her an inner tranquility. That’s what Peter means in verse 4 by “the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”
There is a book written in the states called “The body Project”. The book is about the difference between how girls saw themselves one hundred years ago and how they see themselves at the end of the 20th century. Brumberg analyzes diaries of adolescent girls from the 1830s to the 1990s. Her conclusion, in the nineteenth and twentieth centuries, girls diaries focused on “good works” and perfecting the character. In the 1990s, the diaries are fixated on “good looks”, on perfecting the body.
For example, one diary from 1892 says, “Resolved…to think before speaking. To work seriously. To be self-restrained in conversations and actions. To be dignified. Interesting myself more in others.” Contrast this with an entry from 1982: “I will try to make myself better in any way I possibly can with the help of my budget and babysitting money. I will lose weight, get new lenses, already got new haircut, good makeup, new clothes and accessories.”
We see that women have drifted away from what is most important. The biblical starting point in dealing with the fear of looking unacceptable is God. Does a woman “hope in God,” or hope in the approval of men? This is the key to being free from bondage to the mirror.
The biblical goal of a woman’s life is not to find the ultimate expression of the self (neither “body” nor “character”). The biblical goal in life is to express the all-satisfying greatness and trustworthiness of God. Expressing God, not self, is what a godly woman wants to do. Excessive preoccupation with figure and hair and complexion is a sign that self, not God, has moved to the center. With God at the center—like the “sun,” satisfying a woman’s longings for beauty and greatness and truth and love—all the “planets” of food and dress and exercise and cosmetics and posture and countenance will stay in their proper orbit.
1 Peter 1:5, “This is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands.”
The deepest root of Christian womanhood mentioned in this text is hope in God. “Holy women who hoped in God . . .” A Christian woman does not put her hope in her husband, or in getting a husband. She does not put her hope in her looks or her intelligence or her creativity. She puts her hope in the promises of God. She is described in Proverbs 31:25: “Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.” She laughs at everything the future could bring because she hopes in God. She looks away from the troubles and miseries and obstacles of life that seem to make the future bleak, and she focuses her attention on the sovereign power and love of God who rules in heaven and does on earth whatever he pleases (Ps. 115:3). She knows her Bible, and she knows her theology of the sovereignty of God, and she knows his promise that he will be with her and will help her and strengthen her no matter what. This is the deep, unshakable root of Christian womanhood. And Peter makes it explicit in verse 5. He is not talking about just any women. He is talking about women with unshakable biblical roots in the sovereign goodness of God—holy women who hope in God.
1 Peter 1:6, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
The next thing to see about Christian womanhood, after hope in God, is the fearlessness that it produces in these women. So verse 5 says that the holy women of old hoped in God. And then verse 6 gives Sarah, Abraham’s wife, as an example and then refers to all other Christian women as her daughters. Verse 6: “And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.” So this portrait of Christian womanhood is marked first by hope in God and then by what grows out of that hope, namely, fearlessness.
She does not fear the future; she laughs at the future. The presence of hope in the invincible sovereignty of God drives out fear. Or to say it more carefully and realistically, the daughters of Sarah fight the anxiety that rises in their hearts. They wage war on fear, and they defeat it with hope in the promises of God.
1 Peter 1:7, Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Husbands, wives, are your prayers hindered? Do you feel like God is not answering your prayers?
Husbands honor your wives!
Wives submit to your husbands!
Wives, I encourage you to go look at Proverbs 31:10-31. This is another good example of what a godly wife looks like.
